e_tivity_4_group_F_corrected.pdf
Please save the first drafts of your final papers with your name_draft. Then upload it here by clicking on the "Attach file" button.
Sarah
draft upload:
Alessandra_Teso_Draft.doc
feedback:
feedback Frist draft of my final paper.doc
draft upload:
alessandra_peron_draft.doc
feedback:
Peer_feedback-Ale.doc
alessandra peron_peer revision.doc
draft upload:
Alexandra_Paris_draft.doc
feedback:
Alexandra_Paris_feedback.doc
peer revision_Alex first draft.doc
Feedback on Alexandra Paris.doc
Feedback x Alexandra Paris.doc
draft upload:
Alida_draft.doc
feedback:
peer+comment_+Rozzarin+Alida.doc
draft upload: elena_draft.doc
feedback:
Peer feedback_elenabirolo.doc
Content: there are many good ideas on this paper and I think it catches the reader's attention, especially in the first part. I like the idea of the "margin of improvisation" in the course and your thoughts on "learning by doing". On the other hand, I found the second part (the second page) more difficult to follow, maybe because of the lack of paragraphing.
Organization: the paper is coherent, especially in the first part. The second page is one long paragraph which could be split in more shorter paragraphs. Moreover, the ending seems a bit abrupt; maybe you could add some sort of conclusion to sum it up.
Vocabulary and grammar: good, but there are many run-on sentences. Check punctuation.
draft upload:
Erica-Buzzacarin_Draft.doc
feedback:
erica buzzacarin_peer revision.doc
feedback:
Tania_Callari_feedback.doc
Content: I particularly liked that you deal with challenges you had to face during the course. The pictures of the PLE trees are very nice. Relevant introduction and conclusion.
Organization: the paper is coherent and has a good structure. The central paragraph (challenges and things I’ve learnt) could maybe be divided in two (one for challenges, one for things you’ve learnt).
Vocabulary: good, but some words need to be checked.
Grammar: good.
FINAL DRAFT:
ericabergamin_final.doc
draft upload:
ericabergamin_draft.doc
feedback: Peer feedback_ericabergamin.doc
erica bergamin_peer revision.doc
Feedback 1
Content: I particularly liked the first part of your paper, where you deal with your PLE (nice idea to include the PLE map as well; it’s a pity it came out so small, though). On the other hand, the second part of the paper could be expanded.
Organization: very interesting introduction and good use of connectors, etc. Suggestion: the first two paragraphs could be joined.
Vocabulary and grammar: good.
draft upload:
laria_draft.doc
feedback:
ilaria_feedback.doc
draft upload:
martina_draft.doc
feedback:
Peer_feedback-Martina.doc
Feedback 2
Content: I think you managed to cover all the most important points of the course: what we did, why it was useful, what you learned. There’s a relevant introduction, and the conclusion sums it all up.
Organization: the paper is coherent and has a good structure; the sentences follow a logical order. On the other hand, I feel there are maybe too many connectors—some could be taken out. Check punctuation (i.e. commas before so/because)
Vocabulary and grammar: both very good. Check prepositions.
draft upload:
tania_callari_1st draft.doc
feedback:
Peer comment_Tania.doc
Viola
draft upload:
Viola Padovan_draft.doc
feedback:
Feedback_Viola _Padovan.doc
feedback:
tania_feedback.doc
Content: entertaining, amusing text which catches the reader's attention. It has a sort of fluent, "conversational" style which makes it very personal. I like the conclusion very much.
Organization: coherent paper. You could divide it into paragraphs if you wanted, but it is fine as it already is.
Vocabulary and grammar: good. Just one thing: some sentences are quite long. While this gives to the paper a "conversational" style which makes it personal, I felt almost "breathless" while reading it.
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