PEER FEEDBACK Group 13

(http://tulanepadova.pbwiki.com/ItaliaUSA_HealthcareProblems)

 

 

Contents and Organization

 

1. Does it do what it’s supposed to do? This would depend on whether or not there is an Introduction. If there isn't one, should there be one? Is there a table of contents? Yes, I think it does what it's supposed to do. There is a short, but clear (and I would add, exhaustive) introduction and a table of contents.
2. Is there a comparison or are there conclusions?  There is no final conclusions, but each section has part in which Italian and American situations are compared.
3. What do you like about it? (be specific) Healthcare system in Italy and in the U.S.A. is a complex but very interesting issue. I like how the work is organized and the fact that each section has a sort of conclusion: in this way, readers can easily follow and really understand the differences between Italian and American Healthcare systems, in a number of nuances. Moreover, images enrich the wiki.
4. Is there cohesion? Yes, it's given by the same lenght of all paragraphs.

1. Is it relatively easy to read? If not, what could the writer do to make it easier for the reader? I found it easy to read. You could use some colors and justify the text.
2. Is there balance and parallelism? Yes. It's given by the fact that, for each topic, there's a part which explains American situation and then a part which explains Italian situation.
3. Is referencing done correctly? There are a lot of referencies and in my opinion are well written.
4. Are there parts that appear that they should be referenced, but are not? There are parts in which I found a lot of references like 'primry care' and others where there are no references at all. Probably you haven't put them yet. Remember that if what you wrote is part of your knowledge it's not necessary to put a reference with a footnote.
5. Can you find any instances of plagiarism? I think you have to put more references expecially because you wrote a lot of percentage and statistical data and obviously you have to wrote were you find them.
6. Are there enough links to outside sources? There are no links.
7. Length - are the paragraphs too long? too wordy? The two parts concerning 'waiting lists' are very long and not well structured. I mean, the part in Italian and that in English have only one long paragraph. I'm not motivated to go on reading such long paragraphs. I think that you did a good job with the part concerning 'the American health care non-system' because there are three paragraphs and they are not too long.
8. Structure - is there a clear structure divided into paragraphs? I think there are some paragraphs that are too long. It's a good idea if you divide them in smaller paragraphs.
9. Is there any use of multimedia? There are some images but there are no links. Remember to put them otherwise you might have problems with copyright. The first image is particularly fitting and gives readers a good first impression of your wikipage. You can add some other images just to add colour to the wiki. In this way readers are more motivated to go on reading your wikipage. 

 

Language

 

1. Are there sentence fragments or any run-on sentences? I think your sentences in English are very clear. They're not too long. So, I found no run-on sentences. Also the Italian sentences are not very long. Italians tend to write long sentences without using dots or semicolons. Sometimes we have to take a deep breath before reading a sentence in Italian. This is not your case.
2. Are the verb tenses used correctly? Yes, I found no mistakes. Check  the verbs you use after 'U.S.' Somewhere you wrote the singular form  and somewhere the plural form of the verb.
3. Are there words that need to be checked for spelling? You used 'center' but I think 'centre' is more commonly used. You missed a dot in the second line of 'Waiting lists in the American healthcare system': U.S.A. instead of U.S.A
4. Are the beginning of sentences and proper nouns capitalized? Yes, I found no mistakes.
5. Do sentences have appropriate ending punctuation? Yes, they have.
6. Is internal punctuation (comma, colon, semicolon) used appropriately? Yes, it's generally used appropriately. You should divide decimals by a dot when you are writing in English and a comma when you are writing in Italian. Then, I'm not sure you can use colon and semicolon in the same period, as in "So, comparing Italy's and America's data, you can point out (there) is no a significant difference: 7,2 infant deathsper mille live birth in America; 6,8 in Italy".
7. Are pronouns used correctly? Yes.
8. Is the appropriate vocabulary used? Yes, I found it appropriate.

 Other things:

I would prefer 'because as finances and insurances are concerned, it is a private sector, and...' instead of 'because it is a private sector as finances and insurances are concerned and...'.

'Anche se le disparità regionali persistono.' You have to add the last part of the word.

'Moreover, there are for...' remember to put a comma after moreover.

U.S.A. needs the definite article.

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