Contents and Organization

 

Does it do what it’s supposed to do? This would depend on whether or not there is an Introduction. If there isn't one, should there be one? Is there a table of contents?

Is there a comparison or are there conclusions? 

What do you like about it? (be specific)

Is there cohesion?

Is it relatively easy to read? If not, what could the writer do to make it easier for the reader?

Is there balance and parallelism?

Is referencing done correctly?

Are there parts that appear that they should be referenced, but are not?

Can you find any instances of plagiarism?

 

Language

 

Are there sentence fragments or any run-on sentences?

Are the verb tenses used correctly?

Are there words that need to be checked for spelling?

Are the beginning of sentences and proper nouns capitalized?

Do sentences have appropriate ending punctuation?

Is internal punctuation (comma, colon, semicolon) used appropriately?

Are pronouns used correctly?

Is the appropriate vocabulary used?

You are encouraged to intervene directly on the pages you give peer feedback on if you see particularly evident language mistakes!

 

 

 

Contents and organization

 

The wiki page is well organized because there is a clear table of contents and each discussed point is cleary stated by adverbials and conjuctions, such as 'here you will find', 'first of all', 'afterwards'. Furtheremore, it catches the reader's attention by using questions. It focuses on the key words of the sections, developping the topics in a logical way. 

There is a detailed comparison at the end of the page, which is very eye-catching. There are appropriate references and two meaningful images depicting the conditions of illegal immigrants both in Italy and in the U.S. However, you might include two images showing more similar aspects of the immigrants'conditions in the two countries.

We appreciate the use of the colours of the countries' flags in the title because they clearly convey the idea of a multicultural wiki page. In addition, we like the use of multimedia devices, such as the video about illegal immigration in Italy and  the graph which shows the different nationalities of the immigrants in the U.S. 

The sections are both cohesive and coherent. Moreover, they are parallel as they develop the same contents.

Referencing is well done: all the multimedia devices have appropriate sources and the use of footnotes is to be found throughout the whole text.

Perhaps you might include more sources in the sections 'illegal immigration in the U.S. when you deal with 'the most common ways used by immigrants to enter the USA illegally' and in the first part of the section 'how do media and people feel about it?'. 

The contents are well paraphrased and quotes are referenced, so we don't find any instances of plagiarism.

 

Language

 

There are neither sentence fragments, nor run-on sentences. Verb tenses are used correctly and we didn't find spelling mistakes. Proper nouns are all capitalized and the beginning of sentences as well.

As far as the ending punctuation of sentences is concerned, we find that full stops and semi-colons are used correctly. As regards internal punctuation, commas are used appropriately and we appreciate the fact that you used full stops instead od semi-colons, thus rendering the sentences better structured and the contents better developed as well.

Pronouns are used correctly and accurately: the frequent use of we and you in sentences like "As we all know", "you might find", "if you want to get an idea" catches the reader's attention and arouses his curiosity throughout the text. Moreover, the choice of words is very effective and appropriate to the context (e.g. "undocumented" to define illegal immigrants, state conspiracy, etc.).

 

Overall, we think you did a very good job!

 

Bye!

 

 

 

Elisa Caramori

Silvia Nicolini

Group 9 

 

 

 

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